Whoever Angers Us, Dominates Us

We tend to hide our anger in public, since acknowledging that something makes us angry makes us feel vulnerable. Getting angry is frowned upon, because it is misunderstood and, therefore, this emotion is treated unfairly.

Anger is a natural tool in our evolution to inform us that there is something that is bothering us and that it is necessary to examine it and find a balance.

The main reason for the attitude of anger is punished is that it is confused with anger or with the excessive expression of annoyance.

We must understand that exploding and screaming is not the same as frowning. In this sense, anger would respond to mismanagement of that which makes us angry.

Awareness of emotion, the first step to liberation

Being aware of our feelings and trying to manage and transform them are issues that go hand in hand. Therefore,  becoming aware of our emotions and feelings constitutes an attempt at expression and liberation.

Thus, for example, that a child complains to another for taking his toy implies a certain awareness of the negative feelings that this injustice generates.

In other words, in this sense, anger is our best tool to request equality.

But if that child continues to fixate on the trigger for their discomfort and focus only on negativity, they will feed back into a looping negative mood. That is, the anger will increase, as if it were a rolling snowball.

That is why it is important to understand our feelings after being aware of what makes us angry. Working on our feelings and emotions gives us the option to keep moving forward.

In other words, focusing our attention on what makes us angry has a direct consequence: our domination. If we overcome the state of anger, we will be free again.

The emotional brain during anger

There are many types of anger, but everything that makes us angry has something in common: the reaction of our emotional brain to a physical or psychological threat.

Our senses send the first spark to the brain amygdala, which activates our emotional circuit and sets in motion the neocortex, in turn in charge of calculating a more or less adjusted reaction to injustice.

The discharge of limbic energy (amygdala and adjacent areas) releases catecholamines for purposeful and rapid action. In turn, and for a longer time, the adrenocortical branch of our nervous system keeps us activated and predisposed to a longer action.

This is, as one would say in colloquial terms, the bad body that remains after anger.

This same physiological hypersensitivity is what dominates us when our mind feeds on a spiral of negative thoughts. Let’s say our body predisposes us to build anger upon anger.

This translates into a “cognitive inability” to reason adequately, so thoughts that could attenuate our negative mood are discarded.

Cooling down: the key to self-confidence

Therefore, to appease our psychological excitement, the first thing we must do is take distance from the situation and make the adrenaline rush stop controlling us.

With this we want to get the environment to stop being irritating to be able to feel good through distraction.

Anger is an emotion that is fueled by our internal monologue. We provide ourselves with compelling arguments that help us vent our discontent with something or someone.

This chain of hostile thoughts that aggravate anger is the key to reducing it. In other words, the key we need to stop such reasoning is, precisely, to stop looking for reasons or justifications that feed this mental scene.

Therefore, the important thing is to stop adding fuel to the fire of anger and try to look at the situation in a different and more positive way.

So let’s keep this in mind so that what angers us does not dominate us.