Tips To Increase Self-esteem In Your Children

By doing things alone, our children have the right to make mistakes and, in this case, learn from their mistake, but if they are right, their satisfaction will be greater for having achieved the aim without help

Good self-esteem is key to our well-being. The way we value, respect and treat ourselves is essential to feel good. And, in addition, it is a key aspect during the first years of our life. That is why it is so important that children have a good evaluation of themselves. Now, how can you increase self-esteem in your children?

Childhood, adolescence and youth are stages of development and changes in which children are often very vulnerable to the pressure exerted by the environment on them. Therefore, it is convenient to pay attention to how we treat them, since it can negatively affect the way they have to value themselves.

Likewise, we cannot forget that as parents we are one of his greatest influences -at least during his early years-. And we act as that support from which they feel safe to discover the world. For this reason, we must cultivate self-acceptance and the path to autonomy as fundamental aspects of their education.

Now, it is true that for different reasons our children may not believe they are capable of carrying out certain tasks, they have lost their confidence in themselves  or they underestimate themselves. In these cases we can help them manage this discomfort and teach them how to reverse the situation. The following tips are a good example of this. Let’s go deeper. 

1. The importance of acceptance

One of the most important keys to fostering healthy self-esteem in our children is acceptance. Children have to feel accepted by their parents, regardless of their behaviors. That is, they have to feel valued and loved and have the certainty that their parents will be there. And for this, they usually seek your approval.

Now, it is important not only to make them understand it, but also to teach them to regulate that need so that little by little they become more autonomous and independent. Otherwise, they may develop a certain dependence on the approval of others to act.

However, it should be mentioned that acceptance does not imply resignation, that is, at certain times it will be necessary to establish certain limits in the education of children.

2. Identify what is behind low self-esteem

Low self-esteem doesn’t just mean discouragement, sadness, or shyness.  This way of valuing oneself also implies the need to be what one is not, to fulfill the expectations of others. For this reason, it is important to differentiate the aspects that can change to be better, from those that are not necessary to modify and of course, accept and value both.

Everything that our children can change must be presented as challenges, without exerting any additional pressure. On the other hand, they must assume what they cannot change and learn to live with it.

3. Help children express their discomfort

Another fundamental aspect when helping our children increase their self-esteem is teaching them to express their discomfort, their low mood, their sadness and their negative emotions. That is, they need to know that it is not bad to be sad and much less, to show it. Everything counts in the emotional universe.

For this, it is essential to provide them with a calm and calm environment, which provides them with security and support. This way it will be much easier for them to express how they feel.

In addition, we can help them if we tell them a similar situation in which we have felt the same way to convey that, in some way, we understand them and little by little, help them feel good.

4. The influence of friends

Our children’s friends tend to have a lot of influence on their self-esteem, since they are very important references for them, especially when they are approaching adolescence. The problem is that they tend to highlight the most negative aspects.

Below we propose a game to play with a group of friends that can be of great help.

• First, each of the participants should say what they like least about themselves out loud.
• And secondly, everyone will say what aspects they like the most about each of them, both physical and psychological.

This game has a constructive purpose, since it encourages the participant to open up about themselves and others. Also, children are often surprised to learn what their friends admire about them.

5. Learn and improve

The fundamental thing for our children to be emotionally strong people is to encourage them to learn in the broadest sense. Learn from life, to be self-sufficient and capable people, and imitate the example of other people.

To let them go, in short, so that they can make mistakes, since in most cases, their lack of self-esteem is due to our own insecurity, which we transmit to them every time we prevent them from risking acting for themselves.

6. Release them to come back

From the moment we make the decision to give them more freedom to risk making their own decisions, we will see how they are the ones who come to us for advice.

We will no longer be so on top of them, so they will be forced to take steps in some direction.

If they get it right, they will have the joy and satisfaction of having achieved that result on their own. If they are wrong, they will not be able to hold anyone but themselves responsible for the mistake, and learn from it.

Flower essences for self-confidence

In natural medicine we can find an excellent support for this learning: Bach flowers. These flower essences help us to cope with some emotional issues, including lack of confidence, in a totally natural way.

They do not create dependency or have side effects or contraindications, so they can be taken at any age for as long as they are needed.

The most suitable flowers for these cases are the following:

• Larch : it is the most important flower for those who do not have confidence in themselves, since they always expect failure.
• Centaury : for people with a weak and submissive personality who always yearn to please others.
• Cerato : for those who always doubt everything and have to ask for advice.
• Chicory : when the lack of trust is due to a feeling of not being loved, which leads to a need for excessive attachment and possession.
• Pine : for people who always have regrets, which prevents them from moving forward safely.

• Star of Bethlehem – When insecurity is due to past trauma.